An Open Letter to Tim Burton

Dear Tim Burton,
I think it is high time I tell you how much of a douche you are. You used to actually have an original thought in your brain, but then fame and Johnny Depp killed it.  Whatever happened to the man who directed Beetlejuice? Ever since you made that perversion of an American classic, Sleepy Hollow, your work has been on the same level of genius as that of Tyler "my movies are crap" Perry. Honestly, you have screwed with enough good things. Did Willy Wonka need a background story? What about the boat ride scene? I a least expected that to somewhat save you from casting Johnny Depp and making him look like a creepy puritan. No, you disappointed me.

 ASSHOLE!

As for your most recent disaster, Alice in Wonderland, I hope you get your ass kicked by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino. At least they can write their own scripts and not fuck with that which does not need a update. You made Alice a joke (she's supposed to be seven not twenty) and the underlying text of the mad hatter lusting after made me want to head towards the nearest electroshock place and fry my brains out. SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!! You couldn't even get the characters right. The red queen and the white are not sisters. The queen of hearts and the duchess are. Just you you don't fuck anything else up, the red queen and the queen of hearts are the same thing. Please do us all a favor and quit while you are just barely still ahead. For the record I will have to destroy if you as much think about destroying 101 Dalmatians.